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Post by rach91 on Mar 10, 2014 13:52:32 GMT -5
Yes! Well done on avoiding the temptation to restrict!! I hate that feeling that you need to atone for a binge but it really is better to just forgive yourself  |
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 11, 2014 15:08:00 GMT -5
Tuesday night here in Holland and I have had two really busy days at work. Tomorrow I have another busy day and a very long one too. It's parent evening so my day will start at 8 am and end at 8 pm. I will have to eat a dinner at school. One of my colleagues runs a small catering company and he is providing the food. Should be good and healthy, but unfortunately the time of our dinner will not be my normal time. Will be bit difficult for me, but not unexpected so I am prepared! I am going to make sure I don't binge!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 12, 2014 10:58:41 GMT -5
Am at work, and we are going to have dinner now. I am hungry but since is it only 5 pm and not 7 pm (my normal dinner time) I am a little anxious. I am going to eat now but am worried that I will binge later. Must not binge later!! It is okay to have a snack when I get home at 8.30 pm tonight: fruit, yoghurt etc.!! Not to much because don't want to go to bed with full stomach and feeling bloated.
Will be back later!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 12, 2014 13:05:15 GMT -5
7 pm: dinner was lovely, lots of veggies and a gnocchi mushroom dish. I ate enough to feel full. Dessert was tiramisu; only ate a couple of spoonfuls. Felt really bad afterwards and had en enormous urge! Urge has gone now, feel less full and feel bit more comfortable.
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 14, 2014 2:15:20 GMT -5
I want to have a little cry.... binged on Wednesday night after coming home from school - I was late because of parent evening. I had done really well all day, even at dinner at school. Came home and binged. It was a really small binge, but it was a binge. I was determined to do better next day.
Yesterday I was home alone and made a nice healthy dinner. But straigth after dinner I started to binge. I had urges ALL DAY so it felt inevitable. I did nothing about it all day and thought the urges would go away. They did not! I ate chocolates (loads of chococate easter eggs), went out to buy a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, ate biscuits, strawberry yoghurt, candy and a big bowl of nuts and raisins. Perhaps I ate other things as well, I cannot even remember! It was a real binge, standing in the kitchen, not thinking, just eating and not even noticing what I was eating. I had a stomach ache after about an hour and stopped eating. Had a bath and went to bed. Did not sleep very well because of my full stomach. Woke up this morning feeling not too good, had a normal breakfast (porridge and a grapefruit) and can hopefully eat normally again today.
Feel like a loser, know deep down that I am not, that I am a bulimic who is trying really hard to recover from a horrible illness. As long as I keep that in mind myself I can continue with my recovery without feeling too bad today.
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Post by leelee on Mar 14, 2014 20:38:31 GMT -5
Stay strong nicky |
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 15, 2014 2:03:25 GMT -5
thanks leelee! I did ok yesterday, but yesterday evening I binged again. Think that today will be better. It is Saturday morning, don't have to go to work today, I am going to the gym in a bit. Know I will feel better afterwards. Ready to roll again!!
Till the next time!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 16, 2014 11:28:00 GMT -5
Sunday afternoon and feeling good; Saturday and today have gone really well. Went out for lunch with a friend and chose food I wanted to eat, not food I thought I should eat. Enjoyed it and therefore enjoyed the whole lunchtime experience.
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 17, 2014 3:29:14 GMT -5
Working week has started. I had put on a little weight, I think because I am expecting my monthly period (which is very irregular, due to my age). However, if it is not that I am still not bothered by it. It is within my normal weight range.
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 18, 2014 2:21:07 GMT -5
Had a successful day yesterday. Nothing happened, ate normally and ate the food I wanted to eat. Wasn´t uncomfortable around food and there were no urges.
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 20, 2014 7:24:39 GMT -5
I am experiencing strong urges at the moment. Will ignore them! Tonight is Open House at my school, so I have to eat at school and stay till 2100 hours. Probably why I am feeling this urges right now, I cannot do and eat things according to my own schedule (routine) and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Writing down why I feel like this and finding rational reasons to make me stop feeling like this helps!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 21, 2014 2:00:06 GMT -5
Yeah!!Yesterday I had my last evening event - for a while anyway - at school. It included dinner and I am sorry to say that it was awful! However, I ate a little bit of it, had a snack (fruit and some nuts) ready which I ate a couple of hours later and when I came home at 21.30 I went to the fridge and got myself some yoghurt. Wanted to eat chocolates and biscuits but decided that was not a good idea - I envisaged how I would feel in the morning and that was enough to stop my urge!
Woke up this morning feeling very tired from a hectic working week, but not tired because of my food choices! And now I feel really good because I can look back on a successful day!
Weekend tomorrow. We are having friends over for dinner and tonight I am going to make the dessert: lemon meringue pie. Hubby is cooking the main meal. I am looking forward to it and think I will be able to eat normally and enjoy the food and the company.
Have a nice day! xx
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 24, 2014 8:50:28 GMT -5
Monday afternoon and I am pleased to say that I have been binge free all weekend! I have stopped counting but when I read my earlier posts I realised it has been more than a week already. I realise that honoring my hunger helps a lot, urges don't come as often. I do recognize an urge and I haven't responded. The urges go away again. And the less I am preoccupied with food / bingeing / urges / the easier it gets (for now that is how it feels anyway). so.. here is to the next binge free week!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 25, 2014 6:26:58 GMT -5
I am sorry to have to report here that last night I binged. It wasn't a huge big bad binge, but it was a binge! I knew I was doing it but I did not want to stop (or rather my AV was not willing to stop!). Anyway... feeling bit disappointed today, but ready to tackle the binge urges again.
Have very strong urges at the moment! My AV realises that it still has power over me, so it is trying to do the same thing today! No such luck!! I am not going to binge today!
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 26, 2014 1:38:03 GMT -5
Wow!! Yesterday was tough, very very tough... urges all day long! I did not cave in, I ate because I was hungry and I ate things I liked and I did not binge! Not even when dinner turned out to be a bit of a tricky situation: husband had forgotten to take chops out of freezer so we had to change plans last minute! Went to bed feeling happy and woke up feeling happy!
Enjoy your day everyone!
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