Ridiculously Strong Physical Symptoms

[Ariana]

Hi,

While I don't have a problem recognizing and dismissing actual binge thoughts, I have incredible difficulty dealing with the physicality of my urges. I get this HUGE feeling of stale tension (I don't know how else to describe it) and it's unbearable. I can't stand it for more than 10 minutes. 

The thing is, I can always remember that thoughts are just thoughts--when I'm not in the throes of an urge. If I feel the thoughts coming on, I can say no. However, it's just too hard for me to step back when I am in that kind of pain. It feels like I am being punished for not binging.

The way I visualize it is someone coming up to me all of the sudden and giving my forearm an incredibly painful Indian burn, with binging being the only way to make them stop. I cannot imagine myself stepping back and saying, "This will get better, I just have to let it pass." It feels like will power.

Does anyone have experience with this or advice? I am tired of binging ruining my life. I want to move forward and at this point am desperate to do so, but I feel too weak. 

Thanks so much.

[lilly]

Hi Ariana,
I feel like I know exactly what you are talking about. For me, there are moments where it feels almost impossible to separate myself from the urge because of it's physical, not just verbal, nature.
I am new to this process (9 weeks binge-free, so it still feels so tentative), and new to this forum, and have a lot to learn for sure. And there may be others here with more experience or different ideas. But, I can share with you the techniques for dealing with the physical symptoms of the urges that have worked best for me so far (all are borrowed from the BoB Guidebook or the blog):

- let go of the feeling of fighting or 'white-knuckling' through the urge by finding ways to physically relax your muscles. Kathryn Hansen mentions relaxing your face. I also relax my jaw, shoulders and abdomen while taking some gentle, but slightly deeper breaths and letting them go out like sighs.
If your body is relaxed, the urge goes away sooner, I promise! It's the fighting that makes the symptoms stay longer than a few minutes, and it's the fighting that makes the symptoms feel so strong. In my own experience, I find that on their own, without adding my tension and resistance, the underlying physical symptoms are actually not as strong as I thought.

- look at your hands - really examine them - and see that only YOU have control over them, not your urges.

- imagine the physical symptoms (your Indian burn feeling) being caused by a character that is outside yourself. I read a lovely quote on Kathryn Hansen's blog by a woman who separated her binge urges from herself by imagining them as a yapping dog, who eventually gets bored of being ignored and wanders away. Inspired by her, I created the character of a little monkey with long, long arms and legs who jumps around me, opens the doors of the pantry and shows me the food, grabs my hand and tries to pull me to the kitchen, etc. But that little character could also push on my chest (feeling like I can't breathe well), pushes on my stomach (making an empty feeling that cries to be filled), etc. Once I created my little monkey in as much detail as I could, I was able to start seeing him (why "him"?, who knows) as separate from me and actual quite funny and a little pathetic, I sometimes almost feel sorry for him and his crazy antics, but mostly I am able to ignore him!

-use the 5 senses technique. You ask yourself: what do I see? and then describe what is in the room around you (out loud if it helps), then, what do I hear?, then, what do I feel? (what are you physically touching, like your chair or the table in front of you, etc), then, what do I smell?, then, what do I taste? (leave this out if it is triggering!), and keep repeating. It forces you to be "in the moment" and not attaching to your 'what if' or 'I can't' thoughts.

-and finally, I have to say that the best tool I have used to support this process has been mindfulness meditation. I went to an evening at a local centre to learn the basic skill, and then did some reading to help support my practice. Meditation does not have to have any sort of religious component, unless you want it to. For me it has been an incredibly simple and yet very powerful tool to build and then continue to strengthen my ability to detach from thoughts (and those physical symptoms are caused by thoughts!)and emotions that aren't helpful to you. you only have to meditate for 5 minutes a day to see positive changes, and after a while you will want to do it more!
I hope one (or more?) of these ideas might bring you some peace and courage.
You are not alone, Ariana, and you, and I and everyone else on here can do this!
Lilly

[lilly]

sorry my post was so long! take what you need and ignore the rest, lol.

[Ariana]

Lilly--thanks so much for all of that! I will continue and try these recommendations.