The forum might be making me worse...

[rainbowbrit]

I don't want to give up yet, because I think this might be a great place for support, but since I joined I've been having an issue that I didn't foresee...
If I post and haven't had a reply, I feel a crushing sense of loneliness. When I get a reply I feel great, but when I don't I feel humiliated, and that like I am alone and I have nothing interesting to say.
I don't know if it's healthy to rely on strangers for support in this way. Any thoughts?

[traumfaengerin]

he my dear, don't be upset! Firstly, it's normal that when you're into something that in the beginnning, you're somehow excited about it. The first days I joined here I was also a little bit obsessed with it and checked every 2 hours if there was already a reply.
Of course, however your feeling of being dependent is not very cool, but  I am sure there are worse things to depend on, but in the end of course it's just bad, that such an external factor has such a big influence on your moods.
I don't really know how to help, I am sorry, but I am sure that you shoudln't give up on this forum. It's really a unique place to talk to people who have the exact problem as you have, where you can talk about it anonymously, and try the same strategy as you do (which means, having the same attitude about how to fight the binge, which is pretty important).
The only thing I can say, that you use typical depressive thought patterns - like black-and-white-thinking, and telling you've nothing interesting to say - why? because some strangers in the internet do not reply? This may have thousand reasons - maybe they didn't even read what you wrote or even more possible they think it's interesting but first didn't know what to reply/ how to help, like it was for me with this thread.
You should ask yourself: What I am using this forum for? Of course you do it for yourself. Of course this forum is also about exchange, but first just write every now and then when you will like it your thoughts down - people will read it - some will just read it and let you go on, others will read it and feel understandable or motivated by you. Maybe fortunately somebody may answer you as well. Like this, and nothing more See it as a place to come back, when you want to confront yourself daily for a few minutes with this self-damaging behaviour and don't load yourself another behaviour of this on. You shouldn't worry the whole day  on sth related to food - bingers do that already enough

[rainbowbrit]

What a fantastic reply! I Pre menstrual a few days ago and I thought everybody hard me. It's ridiculous, what your brain can tell you. There isn't a shred of evidence that anyone hates me, and a load of evidence to the contrary, but self destructive thoughts are irrational. You are right about getting excited about things in the beginning. Like being on a new diet and checking the scales everyday, feeling on top of the world when my weight goes down but feeling like an ogre when it starts the same or goes up. I don't want to treat this forum like I treat the scales!

[traumfaengerin]

I am so happy, that you got, what I wanted to say as I had the feeling my writing was really weird and not really helpful...
Yes, it's exactly what I meant with the scales This is a thing I have to learn myself these days as well: when you want to free yourself from this habit you have to focus on other, joyful things of your life I catch myself all the time by waiting for a success by weight loss - which is SO DAMN STUPID, because there is a whole chapter about NOT overcoming binge and losing weight at the same time... and the last two weaks, where I didn't spent a thought on it, I suddendly lost 2kg just by healthy eating. We have to be patient some time, obviously