So It All Went Terribly Wrong...

[tom]

So it all went terribly wrong....



I had my lunch, I chose to have salmon with boiled potatoes (With cream cheese andcheddar) and vegetables with balsamic glaze and some bottled steak sauce.



Throughout the meal I was trying to decided whether or not to have adessert and I didn't know whether to have one or not.



I decided to have a smallsquare of chocolate with peanut butter, as some other people have it as a finisher so I ate it but didn't feel satisifed so I chose ot have a ricecake with peanut butter and chocolate spread. As I was getting it ready I kinda felt like I was doing it automatically, I told myself I was choosing to have it but it still felt kinda like a binge.



When I finished it, I didn't feel satisfied and chose to have another, I had some dried kiwi on it also this time. I knew I was binging at this time but I justified it with "I'll just have a smaller meal later".



I had a couple of small gluten free cookies and then had one more ricecake. I felt like I could stop but I decided to keep eating.



I feel guilt and I feel a bit ashamed.



When I finished I felt full and I can feel some pain in my stomach.



I felt like I was going along swimmingly after reading Brain Over Binge but now this has happened, along with a few other eating problems along the way.



I am going to go for a walk to process my emotions. I have been dealing with some issues in my life.

[ines]

Relapse happens to everyone!
You knew it was a bing when it happened and yes you choose your bing but dont get down about it!
Remember that Kathryn also had a relapse and it is wasn't a huge bing!
Try thinking about what went wrong? We did you choose to go with the AV even though you know it is wrong!

The walk sounds like a great idea! I always go for a walk when I need to think about problems!

[tom]

Jun 17, 2015 6:35:41 GMT -5 ines said:

Relapse happens to everyone!
You knew it was a bing when it happened and yes you choose your bing but dont get down about it!
Remember that Kathryn also had a relapse and it is wasn't a huge bing!
Try thinking about what went wrong? We did you choose to go with the AV even though you know it is wrong!

The walk sounds like a great idea! I always go for a walk when I need to think about problems!

*Hugs* 

Thanks for your comment. You have been great over the last few days "hugs"  

Here is some context:


These are not excuses for what I did but just factors that could have led up to it



- I have been trying to eat "healthier" by having less desserts and sweet things



- I really don't know when to have dessert



- I am unsure what constitutes a good portion size for me



- I have had to give up gluten products so my diet has been restricted from this



- I have dealt with issues where I've been feeling lots of food guilt, even during regular meals



- I'm unsure when I am over-eating or having a normal portion.

[ines]

Thanks! love finally being able to talk to someone who knows what binging is and feels like!

Maybe given up on these things makes you body go: "oh no restricted diet - need to bing"?
Tell yourself over and over - I have the free willpower to choose when I eat and what i eat but I choose what makes my body the best!
Try maybe using the plate tip? Put things on a plate(Go for a good normal portion with a lot of vegetables and when finished: if you still want more wait 10 min and check Im still hungry? if yes go for another but often you will feel full!)
maybe you should try minimize dessert a small step at a time? Like if you eat every day - try every seconds and so on.
And put dessert on a plate to and not go a cookie bag because then you easily grap way too many

[rainbowbrit]

Torn- how have you been after relapse?

[tom]

Carried on eating tonnes throughout the weekend but today I have stood up and I am making a change. I watched lots of inspirational youTube videos and I am ready to practice BoB techniques again

[ines]

That's great! looking forward to seeing your Vlogs!