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Post by lorichka6 on Jan 24, 2014 12:29:01 GMT -5
Hi everyone - I'm looking for some insight on something... I've been 14 days binge free since re-reading BOB. Maybe. Because I'm not sure what label to give yesterday's eating. I've been sort of mentally tracking the last week, trying not to actually log food (gosh, its funny that that takes effort ). I would say I'm undereating a smitch - but maybe not, I don't know. Either way, my eating has been better - and I really hadn't had an urge to binge. A few little "ooooh... get another handful of chocolate chips" - but no real binge urges. Nothing that really prompted the pre-binge anxiety feelings. Yesterday I got busy in the AM and just didn't have a chance to eat until noon. I was STARVING. I ate what I had planned to eat earlier and was full enough but I could still feel that sort of "deep" hunger (this commonly comes the after too much restriction or 20+ mile snowshoe hike days or something - I consider it "real" hunger). Ate lunch at 2. By 4 my stomach was growling. So again, up until this point I think there was no binge urge. I had an appointment so I couldn't eat (binge voice wanted me to run to the store and buy a 6 pack of raisins, I didn't). Eventually hunger faded a bit. Ran to grocery store for dinner around 5:30 and got an apple to eat on the way home. This just kick started my appetite. I definitely overate once I got home but it wasn't "binge" like. It really felt kind of like I just wasn't getting full. I didn't crave bad food, I didn't want to BLINDLY shove food down my throat, but I did just want to keep eating. When I sat down with my usual chocolate chips for dessert I went and got something else (granted, it was white chocolate, but still - to not "just eat" the chips in one big handful and to willingly just put them back until today seems meaningful in some way). I ate the white chocolate, and finally I was full. And I didn't feel guilty. And I didn't beat myself up. But today, the usual me is kicking in and saying "oh, go track your food and see what the damage was (~3200 calories for the day) and don't eat until dinner. I don't know what to think of this. Was this a binge? A mini-binge (do they exist?). I was never out of control. But I certainly wasn't savoring every morsel. I was just SO damn hungry all day I wanted to be full. Was this maybe the voice trying to convince me it was hunger? How can you tell the difference?
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emmie
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Post by emmie on Jan 24, 2014 18:41:46 GMT -5
For me, a binge is out-of-control eating that's the result of giving in to an urge that has nothing to do with hunger at all. It is often accompanied by a feeling of anxiety that's banished with the actual eating.
What you're describing would be (for me) just 'overeating' in response to hunger cues that might or might not be 'real.' In the 'olden days' when I still had a cycle, I was hungry like that the day before and would eat constantly and never feel full.
So since you never felt 'out of control,' that would not be a binge for me.
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Post by lorichka6 on Jan 24, 2014 19:00:33 GMT -5
Yeah, this was definitely similar to a pre-period hunger. One of those days where you just can't get full...
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emmie
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Post by emmie on Jan 25, 2014 4:17:39 GMT -5
Just chalk it up to 'hormones' and stick with recovery. To overeat and NOT binge is an accomplishment, IMO, because when I'm overeating, the temptation to binge is stronger.
So you did well.
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Post by juniper on Jan 28, 2014 6:36:09 GMT -5
To overeat and NOT binge is an accomplishment Exactly this. You're doing so well lorichka6. To eat a large amount, unplanned and have it not landslide into binge behaviour is a testament to how you are separating eating and disordered eating, I am envious.
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Post by ana on Feb 6, 2014 8:17:36 GMT -5
Hi,I'm totally new here and English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if my writing comes off a bit strange. I have two questions that I think are sort of related to this topic. The first one is, how do I know when my meal ended and I started binging. Like, when I eat all I had planned, but then continue eating. Is that a binge? The second question is about "snacks". Sometimes I feel this urge to eat something (although I'm not quite hungry) and then I eat very little (about 100 calories). But I eat it very fast and compulsively. Is that sort of a mini binge?
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Post by booboo on Feb 6, 2014 11:29:15 GMT -5
Hi Ana! Welcome! I think only YOU can decide if you have had a binge. I do think it's okay to eat a small snack, even when you are not hungry. It's okay to eat for pleasure. If you feel you are eating quickly and compulsively, maybe it would be a good goal to slow down and be a bit more mindful while you are eating. Sometimes we eat quickly and compulsively, when we feel like we aren't really allowed to be eating or we feel ashamed. As we stop binging, we are a bit more able to slow down and enjoy our food. I think it's really important for us to start believing that we are allowed to eat, and allowed to enjoy it.
I totally relate to your question about not being sure when a meal ends and a binge starts. I try to give myself a "normal" portion of food (I am currently trying to eat a lot more food at meals, to avoid snacking constantly after I eat) and eat it slowly and enjoy it. Then I stop for 5 minutes, and if I still want more food or i don't feel satisfied, I allow myself another small plate. After that, I do feel it's important (for ME)to wait 20-30 minutes, to create some space to truly consider whether or not I need/want more food. I think we are all different, but for me, when I start picking and nibbling at food, after a meal, it is a signal that either I didn't eat enough food at my meal, or that I am entering the binge/graze zone. Grazing is a huge problem for me, so when I keep going back and forth to the cupboards and picking at little things, I am in binge-mode.
We are all different, and we all have our own definitions of a binge. It is a really personal thing, but if you feel you are eating compulsively, binging, or you feel ashamed or out of control with your eating, it may not be a "binge" necessarily, but there is probably some disordered stuff going on, around food. The lower brain doesn't just send urges to binge - it also sends urges to restrict, and it often tells us that foods or behaviors are off limits. For me, a lot of recovery is about retraining my mind and getting rid of old beliefs about what I am allowed and not allowed to do, when it comes to eating.
I hope others will chime in on this, too! Very interesting questions!
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emmie
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Post by emmie on Feb 7, 2014 4:32:54 GMT -5
Welcome Ana!
I agree with booboo that only you can decide whether or not you've had a binge. For me, it's both the amount of food AND the compulsive, almost mindless, eating that marks a binge. Sometimes I'll just eat too much in a day, but that isn't a binge for me--just overeating. My binges are rarely connected to a meal; they usually begin with a craving for some junky, sweet food (like candy or cake), and that will set me off.
I would never consider a 100-cal 'snack' to be a binge--UNLESS I ate them compulsively all day long. Often the desire for a 'snack' is simply because we haven't had enough food. "Grazing"--i.e., compulsively snacking can be the beginning of a binge for me, so I am alert if I find myself snacking too often. For me, a true binge is vast amounts of food eaten in a very short span of time. Nothing you've described would be a 'binge' for me, but, again, only you know what's normal for you and what out-of-control eating is like.
I'm finding that being vigilant about all this is helping me avoid binges. I try to identify that 'lower brain' voice that urges me to eat because I know that's the road to binge eating. My difficulty is a tendency to be too restrictive in my eating--which can lead to a binge--but any loosening of restrictions makes me wary of that lower brain inciting me to eat too much.
For me, the road to recovery requires more 'attention' to my eating than should be 'normal,' but I'm hoping this is just temporary until I'm more secure in recovery.
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Post by guest on Mar 22, 2014 0:40:06 GMT -5
I'm so glad I found this post, I found it so helpful! I've been struggling with this exact same issue of discerning between a binge and overeating.
I think sometimes when I come home from school I do have a bit of a mini binge (at least for me it's mini). Like, I'll have two handfuls of trail mix, two handfuls of chocolate chips, a granola bar, and half a poptart. So that's pretty small compared to most of my binges (maybe just overeating?) but I feel like it's more than over eating? But I was sorta hungry...I'm not sure what to call it! But I guess I do know that it wasn't healthy and I should have been more mindful, gauged my true hunger level, and chosen more wholesome snack options. I just felt pretty ill afterwards and energy drained.
I'm glad there's a post for this too because I feel like Hansen never really had episodes of "mini bingeing" in BOB (or at least didn't mention them in the book) and I definitely feel like I'm experiencing them a lot in recovery. I haven't had a huge binge in about two weeks, but I still have this mini over eating episodes every few days.
Does anybody else have a way to distinguish between overeating and bingeing? Or feel they have "mini binges"?
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Post by nina on May 18, 2014 14:46:46 GMT -5
i have similar problems. after a meal i often eat some sweets that were not plan but that i allow to myself. but i am not sure if its my av that tells me to eat these sweets or if its "me". i find it really difficult to find the border between normal eating and overeating or a beginning binge. because for me binges always start with overeating and i never eat really fast when i binge but cant stop eating anyway. i think that having such "mini binges", that i have frequently now, is an improvement compared to real binges, because i can stop them at some level but its not what im trying to accomlpish! but i realized that if i am too restrictive and prohibit e.g. all sweets, i get stronger urges to binge on those... i think it is important to define for oneself what is overeating/bingeing. what booboo said about waiting 30 minutes or so is a good idea, thank you! and i also think, what emmie said about grazing as the beginning of a binge (if i understood it right) very helpful, thank you too for me the problem is, that "normal eaters" also snack and eat sweets and eat sometimes when they are not hungry, so what is normal eating and at what point do i enter the "grey zone" of overeating that could easily become a binge? do you have any ideas about that?
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emmie
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Post by emmie on May 20, 2014 5:52:20 GMT -5
nina- I totally agree with you about the difficulty of finding the 'border' between normal eating/overeating/or beginning a binge. I'm beginning to notice that the 'signals' are in my head! That is, if I'm in the right 'head space,' I have no difficulty with normal eating, but when I find myself 'noshing' more than I should, it's because I've moved into a bad place mentally, and if I don't right things, a binge ensues. So just casual overeating is not benign in my experience.
As to how 'normal eaters' function, I had a fascinating (and instructive) experience several years ago. I went on a 2-week cruise with a friend who has never had 'food issues' in her life. She loves good food, but she never, ever overeats. She makes no conscious effort to stop; it's normal for her! For example, one night we were eating at the buffet, and she took small portions of things she likes. She had almost finished her plate, when she got up for a refill of her iced tea. When she returned to the table, she said, "They just put out catfish. I LOVE catfish, and I wish they'd had it earlier." I was puzzled and asked her why she didn't get any, and she said, "I've finished eating." That was it. She would not eat beyond a certain point, no matter what. She often left food on her plate, but she'd also have dessert --occasionally, if she wanted it.
I was amazed at how moderately she ate--totally naturally with no thought at all.
I know that I will NEVER be like her. Having been morbidly obese from early childhood, my 'food issues' and disordered eating are a permanent part of me. Yes, I've lost weight and look 'normal' to others, but I'm really an obese person in this body, and I will have to be vigilant about my eating to manage my weight. Like an alcoholic, I can be in 'recovery,' but I will never be like my friend in terms of food and eating.
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Post by nina on May 21, 2014 10:43:42 GMT -5
i know waht you mean, emmie. me too, i am always fascinated from people who just stop eating when they are full. i dont understand it... the fuller i am - the more i want to eat its true, when i am in the right mood, say when i am motivated, i can see the border. maybe i just pretend that i dont know when overeating starts because i want it so much. i think i often tell myself "its ok, you can eat that...other people eat sweets too... other people overeat too from time to time..." the problem is, that i do it every day! i have a real big problem in staying motivated to eat "good". what is motivating you? i mean, not generally, but when you feel that you could start a binge right know? i try to tell myself "its only your av, neuronal connections" etc. but than i always think: "is it? or are you just deprivating yourself from food you honestly want to integrate in your life..?" again sorry for my english, i hope you understand what i m trying to say..
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tom
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Post by tom on Apr 25, 2015 10:11:55 GMT -5
Great discussion here about the difference between binges, over-eating and "mini-binges"
I definitely think I have had some mini binges but sometimes my brain feels guilty after I eat a very small piece of a cake or dessert so I am thinking of having less desserts but not in a restrictive way.
I want to satisfy my hunger.
After my meal I sometimes get another place and then I am unsure if I am over-eating or if the first portion was too small but I don't feel out of control, I do feel hungry so it is a tough area.
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tom
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Post by tom on Apr 25, 2015 10:12:24 GMT -5
I also don't want to just be in denial of binging but I don't think they are proper binges so I dunno.
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