Psychotherapist vs. BoB book

[Kristina]

Dear all,

Firstly, let me send you all warm hugs from Berlin, Germany. I hope, all of you are doing well.

Secondly, I just need to share with all of you my anger and disappointment about what I have experienced in my therapy sessions over the last 12 months. After dieting and losing over 120 pounds withing one year, you all who read the BoB book know that this means a significant change to body and brain. Even though healthy and happy, binge eating started as result of restriction.  So, went to seek for help and found a actual nice therapist who wanted to help me to get behind the binges and to "fix my emotional problems" - because, obviously, for him, this was why I´ve binged. One year long I lived with excessive binging and attempts to lose the weight again, with all the concerns about the WHY, with the bad days I went trough because I thought I was sick and only a full transformation into a person without any kind of problems will bring relief. So one year long I went to this therapy sessions in order to seek for help and what I`ve learnt is that "it takes time" to overcome BED, it doesn't´t happen over night and there are "good" reasons for BED (aka emotional needs)! All the energy that I put into that was just time waste! I read about the book brain over binge in the internet - of course, suffering from BED, or from any other  "sickness" you try to learn as much as you can and so did I. Reading a lots of blogs, joining groups etc. I bought the book and finished it within 5 days. What should I say - it was so eye-opening! My binge attacks are over! The strategies explained in the book just work! They just work! And I am the same person as before, I do have the same problems and I do have the same live as before. But what I do not have are the binges because I am not sick! I now know where all this comes from! It is junk in my head, it´s habit and I have the power to say no.

The more I read the more I became angry! Facing my therapist with the content in the book, I could see his behavior towards me changed. You know how it felt? I told my husband it felt just the same as when Adam and Eva ate from the apple and became self-aware and all in sudden the doubt in god arise because they realized that they actual "I" is not what god told them they are or should be etc. I left the session on that day after 20 minutes or so. There was just nothing to say about that anymore.

But the highlight was what he told me as response: in all seriousness, he told me that "I (he) could have told you (me) that as well" and "I (he) did not think that this way to see the "sickness" would hit home for you (me)"! WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!? He could have told me that?! And why the **** didn' t he?! And he didn' t assume, this way to see my BED would not hit home?!??!?! Why he hasn`t at least try?!!!! I am absolutely speechless! He put all his eggs into one basket by not trying to approach the recovery from several perspectives. Or he did not know! Might be, I do not know, but I just do not want to go back there. I just do not want.

So this is my story, just happened last week and I feel so much power now. Having Kathryn´s strategies in mind I feel like nothing could make me binge again.

Dear all, wish you all a nice day, the best for live.

Visiting the States this year in summer again. Can´t wait.

God bless you all.

Thanks

Kristina

[KerryMe]

Hi Kristina,
I was worried that a therapist would react the same as yours. I think they ALL are indoctrined into a way of thinking and a belief that CBT and all that is the best way forward ..... because that's what the 'books' say. They are all taught the same stupid information therefore you don't get many forward thinking therapists. I have been thinking of seeing a therapist again but I want/need them to read Brain over binge and accept it and help me apply it to my life in the way I haven't been able to yet. I know I've found the answer in Brain over Binge but applying it is something else.

Be happy you have found the answer xx

[KristinaHolstein]

Hi Kerry,



I saw him yesterday and we agreed that we will see each other every two weeks. I absolutely did not have anything to talk about and this is what I told him. He says, it is ok - if it is the way I feel and if the book helped me, that he is happy for me. However, I will not stop my therapy "just like that" but step by step. Let´s see what future brings. Since I´ve read the book (5 weeks ago) no binges at all.



All the best



Kristina

[shelly]

Kristina,

Thanks for posting your story. Feeling helpless (all the time). Binge/purge cycle for 10+ years and your story touched me.
I hope to have the same success you've had. 5 weeks seems impossible for me but I think it's time to reread BoB and put my recovery before anything else and stop making excuses for my failure.

Hugs,

Shelly

[Kristina]

Shelly,

you can reach any goal you want, but have a close look to what really helps you. I just had my first binge yesterday the first time after the book. And just like Kathryn, I know what the "mistake" was - i did not detach from my lower brain. I started to ague with "it" and then of course lost. But you know what? Even though I had that binge, what I DO NOT HAVE is all this thoughts about "oh my god what is wrong with me". It is so much easier to cope with this bloated body and this "post-binge situation" with everything that is connected with it, without thinking that something is wrong with my emotion and that I need to change my entire life and how unhappy I am bla bla. It was just nature and my body - nothing more nothing less. Yes, it sucks - but the next time, I will know how to do better. 8 weeks no binge is great.
Shelly, I am not sure if this technique helps with any eating disorder - but I believe there is so many wrong treatments going on out there at the therapists. Many of them do not understand how eating disorders work. They just treat them like any other "disorder".
Have a close look to what you need.
You will make it!
Hugs
Kristina