Post by megan0207 on May 28, 2014 15:46:42 GMT -5
I am now just over 4 weeks binge free and I can already say with confidence that I will NEVER binge again. I wanted to share with you all how I got there because I had a few techniques that really helped me to put Kathryn's excellent advice into practice - it can be a little overwhelming at first as you're trying to figure out how to actually use Brain over Binge in your everyday life to battle such strong urges.
A very brief background on my disordered eating:
Like Kathryn I went through a prolonged period of restrictive dieting (although this is largely irrelevant now) and through that I discovered binge eating. In the early days I used to purge by exercise and restrictive eating, then I began making myself sick, until finally I even lost the energy and motivation to do that - I had effectively given up and resigned to binge eating. I had been through every pattern of binge eating - sometimes for days on end, or sometimes in the space of 30 minutes, but at all times until the point of feeling sick, lethargic, disgusting and ashamed. At almost 18, I should have been looking forward to my future but that was impossible with such a horrible habit consuming all of my time. I was more jaded than anyone my age should be!
I first discovered the book by chance a couple of months back and eagerly read every word in less than a day. It really hit home and I knew instantly that Kathryn was right, she understood, and that this was the only way out! I believed in the book but unfortunately at the time I couldn't manage to believe in myself. I don't think I gave the book enough time in my excitement and with the stress of my every day life, and so I missed some of the most crucial but subtle messages in the book which now help me to resist urges more than the obvious ones! As a result, I was unable to be binge free for long and I fell back into my destructive ways. In all honesty, I don't think I was ready to give up on bulimia yet - I still wanted to lose weight in an unhealthy way and I still relished the idea of binging. As a result I couldn't put the book into practice.
However I was drawn back to the book a while later. I knew it held the answer but that I had to focus more energy on it. So I did. I re-read the book, this time more slowly. I highlighted it on kindle, I thought about every word, and I even made a voice recording of me saying the key messages out loud and played it as I got ready for school for just 10 minutes a day. I was determined to get the message stamped to my brain!! (which it now is)
I can honestly say, it hasn't been a struggle. I didn't understand how that could be true the first time I read the book but I promise you it is! These past few weeks I've had lots going on that would have led me to binge previously - it was my last week of school which involved lots of parties, food and drinking, and I'm now studying for exams and studying at my kitchen table all day every day without a single worry of binging! I'm now healthier and already I think I look better than I ever have (even than when I was underweight)
SO HERE ARE MY TOP QUOTES/ TIPS FROM THE BOOK (these were what enabled me to give up for good) :
1. Read the book. Read it again. I can't say that enough. I am still reading just a few lines every night to remind me of what I've learnt and where I've come from. This way I don't have to devote too much time/ brainpower to thinking about bulimia/ BED in the day.
2. Highlight the key messages that hit home for you, then MAKE A VOICE RECORDING. This was vital for me - especially recording the 5 steps to stop binging. It reenforced everything important I had learnt from the book and made sure that I will not forget it. I like to play just a few minutes a day, and it's just another stimulus to remind you of your control.
3. "Where we focus our attention and the actions we take physically change our brains" Try to limit the amount of time you spend thinking about bulimia/ food/ BED throughout the day. You have your time when you're reading or listening to your recording! The point now is to live your life, so any thoughts to do with bulimia should be dismissed as junk too!
4. "The AV is "any idea, feeling or behaviour that supports [binge eating]"" THIS WAS KEY FOR ME. I skated over it the first time, but this helped me to pinpoint simply what was me and what was "it", which is ultimately how you stop binge eating. I used to spend time thinking about my last binge almost fondly, and this leads me on to my next point...
5. THE BRAIN REMEMBERS PLEASURE MORE THAN IT REMEMBERS PAIN. This is such a helpful fact to remind yourself of. Binges are far more painful than pleasurable, but the AV will not remember it this way so be on guard.
6. "Your animal brain cannot make you do anything, because it doesn't have control over your voluntary muscles" The AV cannot hurt you. It is not a monster. All it can do is throw thoughts at you!! Just thoughts!!
7. "Attempting to argue or reason with the AV is futile". This is important because you mustn't see the AV as a worthy component - it is so insignificant because it isn't in control. By acknowledging it and not fighting with it you are reminding it of that. This is what makes the process relatively painless. Try not to get emotional but remain calm and confident.
8. "I was healthy, my brain was healthy, and I'd been healthy all along". Let go of all the pain of the past, stop blaming yourself for your behaviour, but at the same time accept responsibility from it and move on. You don't have to dwell on what life was life with an ED. The book helps you understand how you've got in this mess, now you can get yourself out of it! Put your brainpower elsewhere!
9. "No matter how mindless my binge eating felt sometimes, there was always some inkling of desire, some tempting thought that preceded each and every binge". Don't fool yourself into thinking your innocent and you didn't know what was happening! Even if you often feel out of control, I have found that there's always a moment where you choose to give in to the AV.
10. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL EATING. My AV often tried to tell me if I ate too healthy or small portions that I was restricting again, or if I overate a little that that was a binge. Ultimately I knew it wasn't, and I had to stop myself from over-analysing my eating! I genuinely like healthy food but I also like treats, and I don't have to compare myself to other people's eating as long as I'M satisfied. Let go of the idea of weight because as Kathryn says your body will end up at it's natural healthy weight if you're not binging! I didn't believe this but even after just 4 weeks I already feel that. Dieting got lots of us in this mess in the first place, so learn to listen to your body and not society - and by doing so you'll naturally have a better figure and never have to bear the horrific physical distress you get after a binge.
11. BE CONFIDENT. Any doubtful voice in your head telling you you can't do this is the AV! Don't listen to it, recognise it for sure, but remind yourself that thoughts can't hurt you! This is the most important thing. I like to remind myself that I'll never binge again. Predictably, a voice of doubt arises and I can see it for what it is - it's neurological junk because obviously my higher human brain is in control and in charge of my voluntary muscles! It makes me feel more powerful and excited every time.
I hope this helps anyone suffering out there and gives them hope! As Kathryn says, life without binging isn't perfect but it feels AMAZING to be back in control of your life and body and happiness.
A very brief background on my disordered eating:
Like Kathryn I went through a prolonged period of restrictive dieting (although this is largely irrelevant now) and through that I discovered binge eating. In the early days I used to purge by exercise and restrictive eating, then I began making myself sick, until finally I even lost the energy and motivation to do that - I had effectively given up and resigned to binge eating. I had been through every pattern of binge eating - sometimes for days on end, or sometimes in the space of 30 minutes, but at all times until the point of feeling sick, lethargic, disgusting and ashamed. At almost 18, I should have been looking forward to my future but that was impossible with such a horrible habit consuming all of my time. I was more jaded than anyone my age should be!
I first discovered the book by chance a couple of months back and eagerly read every word in less than a day. It really hit home and I knew instantly that Kathryn was right, she understood, and that this was the only way out! I believed in the book but unfortunately at the time I couldn't manage to believe in myself. I don't think I gave the book enough time in my excitement and with the stress of my every day life, and so I missed some of the most crucial but subtle messages in the book which now help me to resist urges more than the obvious ones! As a result, I was unable to be binge free for long and I fell back into my destructive ways. In all honesty, I don't think I was ready to give up on bulimia yet - I still wanted to lose weight in an unhealthy way and I still relished the idea of binging. As a result I couldn't put the book into practice.
However I was drawn back to the book a while later. I knew it held the answer but that I had to focus more energy on it. So I did. I re-read the book, this time more slowly. I highlighted it on kindle, I thought about every word, and I even made a voice recording of me saying the key messages out loud and played it as I got ready for school for just 10 minutes a day. I was determined to get the message stamped to my brain!! (which it now is)
I can honestly say, it hasn't been a struggle. I didn't understand how that could be true the first time I read the book but I promise you it is! These past few weeks I've had lots going on that would have led me to binge previously - it was my last week of school which involved lots of parties, food and drinking, and I'm now studying for exams and studying at my kitchen table all day every day without a single worry of binging! I'm now healthier and already I think I look better than I ever have (even than when I was underweight)
SO HERE ARE MY TOP QUOTES/ TIPS FROM THE BOOK (these were what enabled me to give up for good) :
1. Read the book. Read it again. I can't say that enough. I am still reading just a few lines every night to remind me of what I've learnt and where I've come from. This way I don't have to devote too much time/ brainpower to thinking about bulimia/ BED in the day.
2. Highlight the key messages that hit home for you, then MAKE A VOICE RECORDING. This was vital for me - especially recording the 5 steps to stop binging. It reenforced everything important I had learnt from the book and made sure that I will not forget it. I like to play just a few minutes a day, and it's just another stimulus to remind you of your control.
3. "Where we focus our attention and the actions we take physically change our brains" Try to limit the amount of time you spend thinking about bulimia/ food/ BED throughout the day. You have your time when you're reading or listening to your recording! The point now is to live your life, so any thoughts to do with bulimia should be dismissed as junk too!
4. "The AV is "any idea, feeling or behaviour that supports [binge eating]"" THIS WAS KEY FOR ME. I skated over it the first time, but this helped me to pinpoint simply what was me and what was "it", which is ultimately how you stop binge eating. I used to spend time thinking about my last binge almost fondly, and this leads me on to my next point...
5. THE BRAIN REMEMBERS PLEASURE MORE THAN IT REMEMBERS PAIN. This is such a helpful fact to remind yourself of. Binges are far more painful than pleasurable, but the AV will not remember it this way so be on guard.
6. "Your animal brain cannot make you do anything, because it doesn't have control over your voluntary muscles" The AV cannot hurt you. It is not a monster. All it can do is throw thoughts at you!! Just thoughts!!
7. "Attempting to argue or reason with the AV is futile". This is important because you mustn't see the AV as a worthy component - it is so insignificant because it isn't in control. By acknowledging it and not fighting with it you are reminding it of that. This is what makes the process relatively painless. Try not to get emotional but remain calm and confident.
8. "I was healthy, my brain was healthy, and I'd been healthy all along". Let go of all the pain of the past, stop blaming yourself for your behaviour, but at the same time accept responsibility from it and move on. You don't have to dwell on what life was life with an ED. The book helps you understand how you've got in this mess, now you can get yourself out of it! Put your brainpower elsewhere!
9. "No matter how mindless my binge eating felt sometimes, there was always some inkling of desire, some tempting thought that preceded each and every binge". Don't fool yourself into thinking your innocent and you didn't know what was happening! Even if you often feel out of control, I have found that there's always a moment where you choose to give in to the AV.
10. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL EATING. My AV often tried to tell me if I ate too healthy or small portions that I was restricting again, or if I overate a little that that was a binge. Ultimately I knew it wasn't, and I had to stop myself from over-analysing my eating! I genuinely like healthy food but I also like treats, and I don't have to compare myself to other people's eating as long as I'M satisfied. Let go of the idea of weight because as Kathryn says your body will end up at it's natural healthy weight if you're not binging! I didn't believe this but even after just 4 weeks I already feel that. Dieting got lots of us in this mess in the first place, so learn to listen to your body and not society - and by doing so you'll naturally have a better figure and never have to bear the horrific physical distress you get after a binge.
11. BE CONFIDENT. Any doubtful voice in your head telling you you can't do this is the AV! Don't listen to it, recognise it for sure, but remind yourself that thoughts can't hurt you! This is the most important thing. I like to remind myself that I'll never binge again. Predictably, a voice of doubt arises and I can see it for what it is - it's neurological junk because obviously my higher human brain is in control and in charge of my voluntary muscles! It makes me feel more powerful and excited every time.
I hope this helps anyone suffering out there and gives them hope! As Kathryn says, life without binging isn't perfect but it feels AMAZING to be back in control of your life and body and happiness.
