tom
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Post by tom on Apr 22, 2015 0:48:37 GMT -5
Hey guys, I think I am having some issues with knowing when to stop eating. At the moment I tend to have 3 filling meals a day and no snacks inbetween. However sometimes I don't know when is the point to stop. For example, this morning I had 25g of oatmeal fried with raisins, raspberries, butter and sugar and I added peanubt butter to it when I ate it (http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Stir-Fried-Oatmeal) Aftera few bites I had some minor fullness cues but I thought it was too early to be full and I didn't want to stop eating after 2 bites and then be hungry in an hour or so so I ate the portion and then felt kinda hungry so I finished off the peanut butter (there was a tiny amount left in the jar) and I was still hungry so I had 2 bits of a peanut butter bar I made a few days ago. No I am not sure if I have over-eaten, when I had the second slice I thought "lunch is a long way away so I don't wanna get hungry inbetween" Maybe this thought is neurological junk that I should be seeing through and I should have stopped after 1 slice or no slices. I didn't really feel out of control though so I don't think it was a binge but it could have been over-eating. Similar things to this have happened on other days. What is everyone's opinions? Should I dismiss these thoughts or should I eat untill I am definitely not full? At what point of fullness should I stop? I know I have read it is my choice but do I stop when I have fullness after 3 bites or do I eat a reasonable portion? How much should I eat? Also I think I have noticed that my speed of eating during my meals is starting to increase so maybe I should slow it down again, I have downloaded some apps on my phone to help with this. I haven't had a traditional binge in about 2 or 3 months which is good
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Post by charlotte on Apr 22, 2015 6:26:03 GMT -5
Hey Tom
I had the same thing about 2-3 months into not bingeing! I felt confused about when I was or wasn't full, felt full when I had eaten almost nothing, discovered I could actually eat some more without even being full, kept wondering if I was overeating, etc. I think that maybe we just overthink it? Make too big a deal out of it?
I find it hard to give you advice on this as I had trouble with it myself, but logically, I would say to just eat 3 meals and 3 snacks every day, letting their size depend on wat you feel like. Try to keep it a bit regular and don't worry about it too much...
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tom
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Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 23, 2015 11:23:56 GMT -5
Thanks for replying By the time I get to the end of my meals I feel like I am going to cry because I feel like I have binged. I don't think I have binged though. I don't know why I feel like this. I think I am still overly obsessed with stopping at the right time when I am having a meal and I don't know when I should stop. I don't even know why I am still struggling with this as you have all given me such good information and advice about this so I know that there is no perfect stopping point but still I am getting majorly emotionally wound up over this.
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Post by charlotte on Apr 23, 2015 12:17:30 GMT -5
Oh man, I feel ya! Have you ever written down your personal binge definition (back when you were still bingeing)? I got a little lost about "the definition" after being binge free for a while so to make sure that never happens again I wrote one down after my recent relapse. Binge eating is quickly, obsessively and compulsively overeating with the feeling you can't stop before being uncomfortably full (usually 2000+ calories). The binge is usually preceded by a certain tension and doubt that is relieved through the binge. It's followed by physical discomfort and thoughts/feelings of regret, desperation, sadness, shame, ...
So, I don't know if your binges were anything like this, but for me, to nót have that particular - extreme! - behavior would mean everything. Are you still worried about your weight/body? I always have trouble letting go completely, but as someone who's just relapsed heavily I want to remind you that life without bingeing is só much more beautiful! If you're not having actual binges, that's amazing! I'm jealous of that, I would give everything to get back to that point! Will you try to enjoy it for me, please?
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 23, 2015 15:03:05 GMT -5
I think I could have binged then. I had lasagne and a bit of a cookie for my dinner but I was still hungry so when I got home I had an apple with chocolate spread and then a bowl of bread and butter pudding with ice cream and then I had another bowl and a bit of chocolate. Eating was slightly quicker but I wanted to be comfortably full not uncomfortably full I don't feel that tension or doubt was relieved through it. I feel some sadness, I don't regret it majorly cos it was only 2 bowls of a pudding I made and I actually felt hungry hence I ate them but I still feel like it was a binge but not a full-on binge. Sorry to hear about your relapse Charlotte, I hope everything is going well for you now
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 24, 2015 15:30:15 GMT -5
I just feel so gross and disgusting
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 24, 2015 15:34:15 GMT -5
Tonight I just feel so gross and disgusting, I don't know how to get over this.
I think I am over-eating at meals, after them I just feel so gross and disgusting. Maybe I should have less desserts, I have gotten into the habbit of having a dessert with most meals. I just feel so gross and disgusting.
I am not having crazy out of control binges but I am eating over the point of fullness, my brain seems to rationalise it as "the next meal is far away"
I have emigrated and left my copy of BoB in my native country so I can't re-read it which sucks. I am just stuck in this battle I feel like I am gonna cry.
I know that my life isn't over and things could be a lot worse but I just feel so gross, I hate food.
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Post by charlotte on Apr 25, 2015 4:43:40 GMT -5
Aw shit, Tom. Is today any better? If it is in any way possible, I think you should try to find a way to get the focus off food. What I do now - and what's been working well - is make a clear day planning with work/study/chores time and relaxing time. I imagine my day - or next couple of hours - following my planning vs not following it and instead bingeing, which motivates me to follow the plan I rationally prefer. It makes me focus on what I want to happen and takes my mind off the food a bit. When an urge does come up, I quickly detach from it, the good feeling of doing what I planned to do in the back of my mind. Maybe you could try it? Not in a superserious-spend-tons-of-time-on-it way, but just as a sort of satisfying guideline. The description of what you ate does sound a bit like a binge, but it's totally up to your own feelings about it. If you ate those things because you actually wanted/needed them, then that's fine. But if you ate them sort of out of frustration or whatever, then it sounds like it'd be useful to address. I sent you a private message as well, check it out
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 25, 2015 9:48:48 GMT -5
Hey, thanks, yeah I could try that The thing is I don't really see it as a typical binge as I don't feel like I can't stop, I don't have deep regret and really bad stomach pain and it isn't as much quantitywise. I don't always feel fully satisfied by my plate of food, hence I have some seconds. Maybe I should make my initial bowl bigger but at the time I think it is best to have a smaller portion and then only have more if I want it. I have also been doing a lot of reading and research into not-dieting and they say that all that happens if we have a bigger meal is that we are less hungry during the next meal or take longer to get hungry and I think this is true but believing it takes a leap of faith. Of course, this is in the structure of having regular meals. I find it best for me having 3 meals a day where I actually feel full and satisfied and then don't have to worry about food inbetween. I eat when I am next hungry (my next meal) Lately a lot of meals have had desserts so I am working on this at present. Maybe I should focus on reaching a point of knowing when I am done with a meal and then refusing seconds. Cheers for the private message How are you doing today?
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 25, 2015 9:49:39 GMT -5
I also find it really hard to recognise my fullness during a meal, which I think could be affecting these eating episodes. Obviously it is my choice to eat and I know it and I actually do feel hunger so I dunno....
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Post by charlotte on Apr 25, 2015 12:55:11 GMT -5
Before replying to all else: I think this post by Kathryn might be useful: brainoverbinge.com/?p=203She talks about how she ate when she stopped bingeing, saying had 3 meals plus 3 or 4 snacks per day. I'm gonna do that as well from now on. I tried to eat completely intuitively before, but it was too confusing and constantly trying to feel my level of fulness made me too preoccupied with eating. Just another suggestion
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 26, 2015 1:21:25 GMT -5
Thanks I have recently looked over quite a few of her posts but not that one so I will give it a read.
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So I just had breakfast. I had an omelette made with 2 eggs and the filling consisted of courgette, red onion, mushroom, tomato, balsyr, cheddar and bacon, I had it with some lettuce. I started to get full halfway through which was annoying but I guess there was quite a lot of filling so I carried on eating for a bit and then decided to stop. I don't want to give into the AV (addictive voice). I think my having seconds eating episodes could be being fueled by my animal brain as I often get thoughts like "the next meal is far away" and "I may as well fill up so I don't need a snack" and these can be legitimate in some casesbut I don't want them to just be justifications for eating TONNES.
It was a super yummy omelette though.
I have also been keeping a list on my phone of food issues to focus on once I have this eating lots at meals/over-eating in check.
Here is the list:
-Having dessert with nearly every meal and feeling upset about it (I am kinda working on this at the moment, I wasfocusing on slowing down my meals and I was using an app for it but I think this iscausing me more upset so I am focusing on this right now.
- Having seconds and feeling like it is a binge (I am making my first portions slightly more satisfying so I don't need to go for more, obviously thisrequires paying some attention to my fullness as I don't want to overstuff at each meal)
- Spend less time in the kitchen and cooking as I feel guilty about it (This is something I may attempt to do but it isn't my main focus at the moment, if I try to change everything at once then things will get cray cray, I am gonna focus on one habit at a time)
- Have one of my daily meals as a sandwich or akin to a sandwich. (Often I'll have leftovers from theprevious night for lunch or sometimes I cook something for lunch but I think this is slightly excessive so I want to focus on having a sandwich as one of my meals, it also feels less bingey than having cooked meal after cooked meal)
- Having multiple condiments on one meal (I will focus on having one condiment per meal, it is excessive and it feels bingey to have 2, 3 or 4 sauces with one meal
- Using lots of different flavours and ingredients in one meal (for example, with my omelette today I had quite a lot of different veg and 2 types of cheese, in the future I will stick to keeping it simple and have less ingredients in each meal, this could begin in supermarket e.g. buying less variety of food)
- Not eating past point of fullness, this ties in with some aforementioned issues and it links into my current habit of not over-eating at meals (although this could be difficult in times of early satiation but I guess satiation is satiation so if I think I am full, I probably am,even if I have only eaten less than I thought I would)
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 26, 2015 2:44:20 GMT -5
Also, the following is quite useful. Here Kathryn talks about questionable hunger, this is something she has dealt with.
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tom
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tom on Apr 26, 2015 6:29:06 GMT -5
So I just had lunch. I had a sandwich and I felt kinda full after half of it but I decided to eat the whole thing as I am currently trying out the "set a pre-determined amount before the meal and eat that" and I am not sure whether I should have ate the whole thing or not.
I pre-decided I could have a banana after my meal if I wanted it but I think I am ok without it.
In the sandwich I had stilton cheese, ham, lettuce, tomato, courgette, red onion, pepper, mushroom, paprika and sage and BBQ sauce. This seems like quite a lot of ingredients for one meal, does it seem excessive to you?
I only had a little bit of each vegetable so it wasn't incredibly bulky but it is still quite lot of things for one sandwich.
I also had it warm in a toasty style so the bread was fried in butter.
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