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Post by rach91 on Mar 9, 2014 14:25:52 GMT -5
Hey I started a thread in the other section of the forum but I think this is a more appropriate place to keep a log? Anyway I'll repeat a bit of background stuff: I started restricting food when I was 17/18, and I got pretty skinny. Then I went to uni and swung completely in the other direction (as so often happens!). Now I've been binging for about three years. In that period of time the longest I have gone without binging was a couple of months- but I basically did it by white knuckling it for a lot of the time and it was really, really exhausting. Having read brain over binge, I feel like I am better equipped to keep it up now. I last binged on the 7th March. Today has been really good, although I do feel a small urge right now but nothing I can't ignore I hope keeping track on a daily-ish basis will help me out a bit, especially at first. Rachel
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nicky
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Post by nicky on Mar 10, 2014 1:52:48 GMT -5
Hi Rachel,
Welcome! Not sure where one should keep a log, but I am keeping mine here too! Maybe I was a little optimistic when I decided to place it in the success stories section, but hey... why not... it is going to be a success story for me (and you I am sure)!! Looking forward to your daily posts! Nicky x
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Post by rach91 on Mar 10, 2014 13:48:04 GMT -5
Hey Nicky! Thanks for that. Unfortunately I binged today!! My AV just kind of sneaked up on me. Today I persuaded myself it was ok to have a glass of wine with lunch, and then it just went from there... I was stressed in the afternoon and I let that be an excuse! I really have to stop drinking even a little (I only had that one glass but I can tell it made a difference) when I am by myself, because it just means less self control. However my binge could have been worse- I don't feel toooo uncomfortably full right now which makes a change. I really do honestly think that I could beat this. I need to re-read BOB though, going to do that tonight to up the motivation.
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Post by rach91 on Mar 11, 2014 14:42:52 GMT -5
Well today has been difficult but good! I forgot to take my packed lunch to work, which meant I had to make do with a bought sandwich instead. Having to buy an unhealthy lunch (I generally don't like eating grains) usually sets my head in a bit of a spin and results in a binge, but I actually managed to ignore my AV today. This is the first time in a while that I've eaten (what I see as) unhealthily by myself (so not in a social setting) and managed to stop it from spiralling out of control. It was quite difficult, at first I started trying to argue with myself so the usual "you've ruined today, might as well have one last binge etc etc" but then I realised what I was doing- it's so pointless arguing with yourself- and managed to just sit tight and ignore the urge by not giving it any room in my head. I feel pretty good about this. Here's hoping I can keep it up Started reading BOB again, and the blog posts on this site are also helpful!!
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Post by rach91 on Mar 12, 2014 14:56:09 GMT -5
Today was a lot easier. No urges at all, which was nice. Happy!
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Post by rach91 on Mar 13, 2014 12:55:44 GMT -5
Going to tempt fate and say today has been binge-free as well Still got a few hours until bed, but I'm out at football training tonight and I rarely start bingeing after 7pm anyway, unless I'm working late or really stressed... the peak time for urges seems to be around mid afternoon. Today I snacked on some mushrooms, olive and an apple in the afternoon. I don't generally like snacking because sometimes it's a fine line between grazing and bingeing, but today felt fine
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Post by rach91 on Mar 14, 2014 4:35:46 GMT -5
Well as I thought I didn't binge last night Tonight I have a brilliant social occasion to attend (comes around once every two years- pretty much on a par with Christmas for me!). The downside is that there will be unlimited food and drink, and I do really want to enjoy it all (there will be lots of interesting food/different drinks to try). I am attending with a couple of friends who both eat normally, so currently my plan is to match roughly what they eat and drink (or obviously less if I feel like it). That way I won't be restricting (and so not enjoying the event!), and I'll be able to enjoy the night, without feeling like I am bingeing. Super excited about it actually! And feeling good after a few days binge-free!
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nicky
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Posts: 189
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Post by nicky on Mar 14, 2014 6:22:28 GMT -5
Good luck and most importantly: HAVE A FAB TIME!!
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Post by rach91 on Mar 16, 2014 5:00:27 GMT -5
Thanks! I had a great time the other night. I probably ate about the same amount as I would during a medium-sized binge, but the fact that everyone else was doing the same, and also that I was doing it in a social setting with no feeling of lack of control/racing heart (and all the other binge-related stuff) means I don't really see it as a binge. The next day went fine as well- I ate normally/quite healthily, and didn't even beat myself up about having a hot chocolate (sounds silly when i write it out but I do get super restrictive about eating healthy!) Back to normal routine today, here's hoping I can keep this up feeling strong at the moment!
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Post by rach91 on Mar 21, 2014 1:29:29 GMT -5
I'm still going strong which is great. Trying to stay alert and to listen out for my av though. It's amazing how much better you feel once you have a few days of good eating behind you my motivation is high right now.
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Post by rach91 on Mar 25, 2014 14:00:40 GMT -5
Today has been tough. Ive eaten quite unhealthily this afternoon: a smoothie, bowl crisps and a large bowl of cereal and a yoghurt for dinner. and i always find it hard not to let that escalate into a full on binge. But i think i've got it under control. Just over two weeks no binhe now!
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nicky
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Posts: 189
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Post by nicky on Mar 26, 2014 1:35:35 GMT -5
Well done, keep it up! Just think how well you have done so far and how good that makes you feel... you want to hang on to that feeling for as long as possible!
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Post by rach91 on Mar 26, 2014 14:36:38 GMT -5
So i just binged.. Haha gotta laugh otherwise you just want to cry good thing is i think i know how to beat this. And in my defence today has been uber stressful- not an excuse but i find it easier to forgive myself and move on that way. I feel like i've really learnt and made progress the past two weeks, so onwards and upwards...
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nicky
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Posts: 189
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Post by nicky on Mar 27, 2014 1:34:41 GMT -5
Hi Rach91, don't be sad, see every day as part of your learning curve. At least you know more about why you binge and what happens in your brain. Take small steps and focus on the future, don't dwell on the past.
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